Thoughtful Tip

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There are stories we carry about ourselves. Some are so familiar that we hardly notice them anymore.....I'm too much. I'm not enough. I should be further along. I have to hold everything together. I should be able to handle this. Something must be wrong with me.

We may think these are simply thoughts. But the body listens, too. It listens to the way we speak to ourselves. It feels the pressure of should. It knows what it is like to constantly feel behind. It knows the difference between being gently encouraged and being pushed. And sometimes, the story we've been telling ourselves for years has quietly become a way of living in our body. Always trying, fixing, becoming, and always believing that the next version of ourselves will finally be the one who is enough.

But what if you stopped for a moment? What if you didn't ask yourself what you need to fix? What if you simply noticed how you have been talking to yourself? Would you speak to someone you love that way? Would you tell them they should be further along? Would you remind them of every mistake they've made? Would you ask them to earn their right to rest?

Probably not. And yet, so many of us offer ourselves a kind of tenderness we would never withhold from someone else. Maybe that isn't because we don't deserve compassion. Maybe it's because somewhere along the way, we learned that being hard on ourselves would keep us safe. That criticism would keep us motivated. That perfection would protect us from disappointment. That if we could just do enough, be enough, accomplish enough...we could finally relax.

But the truth is, you don't have to become someone else to deserve gentleness. You don't have to fix every part of yourself before you are worthy of compassion. You don't have to erase your past. And you don't have to believe every story you've learned to tell about yourself.

You are allowed to question them, and pause when the old voice says, I'm not enough. To notice what happens inside you when you hear it. To take a breath. And perhaps, instead of answering that voice with another demand...you answer it with kindness; I'm learning. I'm human. I'm allowed to be here. I don't have to have everything figured out. I can keep growing without being at war with myself.

Because healing doesn't always look like becoming someone new. Sometimes it looks like meeting the person who has been here all along. The person beneath the expectations, the perfection, the stories….a whole person who is still becoming, learning, and worthy of tenderness.

Maybe the story isn't that you aren't enough. Maybe the story is that you have spent so long trying to become enough that you forgot you were already a whole human being.

So today, listen a little differently. Notice the story. Notice what your body does when you believe it. And then give yourself permission to consider another possibility.

Maybe you don't have to fight yourself into becoming someone new. Maybe you can begin, gently, to come home to yourself…..not perfectly, not all at once. Just one kinder thought, one softer breath, one moment of choosing not to abandon yourself. And perhaps that is where something begins to change. Not because you finally became someone worthy of love...but because you began to see that you always were.

With kindness for your body.